Barsexuality is the new black.
She calls her new ritual "bed, bath, and beyond crunk". Hence why I found her passed out in my bath tub this morning.
i cant talk right now. we are trying to finish our homework so we can play with play-doh
hey got me stoned for the first time when i was 14. there is no bond stronger
He was about to puke, and so I handed him an empty beer can. In retrospect, not very helpful.
I was too drunk to read the menu, let alone her body language.
I told them I was gay and asked them to pass the pie. I ruined pumpkin pie for grandpa.
if the best thing you can say about him is "he probably wont kill me" you may want to rethink hanging out with him
I'm sitting outside your room listening for sex noises eating pepperoni...slowly
I have tan lines from my nipple rings.
It was like in the Christmas carol when the guy pulls his robe back and 2 small children appear... except this time it was a massive scrotum
I just realized I haven't had a date or a potential possibility of a date in about a year. Then I realized I wanted to actually go on a date. But I'm sitting here getting high instead of being at a party. Life.
I just sang beautiful by Christina Aguilera to a kebab. This is what my life has come to.
Are you drinking tequila at 1pm? ...at Disneyland?
she passed out standing next to the car. her head hit the door so hard the alarm went off. she instantly snapped out of it and started sprinting away
Randomize
