I'm at a bar that has girls so awful looking even you would not have sex with them.
Well... I doubt that.
Are u religion class? I'm on my way, I have cum in my hair. tell u later.
even a "fuck you" would be nice at this point.
Get dressed up for her? please, I could shit my pants and she would still blow me
May God have mercy on my new vibrator.
boyfriend # 1 is in the bathroom and boyfriend # 2 is ringing the doorbell need back up this is not a drill i repeat this is not a drill
gpnpr hd vmdd nm the ggrl whm was mn my lar
I need you to use more vowels.
This morning is cloudy with a high chance of vomiting all over the dentist. Stay tuned for further updates.
I clipped one of my extensions in his hair to give him a rat tail. What is my life?
40s are totally the cure
One day i'll wow you with artfully trimmed pubes.
Went home with a dude from UF last night. Just dripped chicken onto my phone and then licked it off. Going to pick up a bridesmaid dress. Mid 20s in a nutshell.
And then he said, "let's have sex and I'll send you home with enchiladas."
I wrote myself a note last night telling me to tell you that you're the best person ever, and asking you not to tell me what I did, I think I'm trusting my drunk judgment on that one.
he was almost the father of your baby, you should let him take you to dinner
Randomize
