somehow on my way home with matt, I ended up straddling steve on the sidewalk and polling the people walking by on whether or not we should have sex.
So Ive decided I have serious issues. Im walking around the school with a bag labeled booze money collecting from people while slightly hungover at 8:20 in the morning, and nobody is questioning me.
he ate 15 dinner rolls and nothing else. then took a shit in the bathroom came out and blamed it on his dad. i wish i was 8.
I just jerked off and used a stopwatch to track my results. Pretty depressing on multiple fronts.
The voicemail says i shouldn't bother ever showing my face there again, i don't understand
We visited your boss last night. guess you wont be paying the rent this month, eh?
I drink more single than I do in relationships. Except with assface.
I will kill you in such a brutal way if you ever de-pants me again on the dance floor it will make the stock market ticker
Tequila pump. I'm ecstatic your engineering degree has real world application.
Does this mean I don't have to apologize for launching about 20 bead necklaces at you from the balcony?
I was laying out of the open window, talking with him on the phone, while we were both puking at the same time.. Guys at the party called it "true love"..
yeah she's crazy. she fought a possum in my alley because it was "being a cagey little cunt"
who the fuck is meatball and why is he telling you to nap on the bar
Did we do drunk science last night? There's tequila in the test tubes...
My adderall dealer raised his prices due to "impending inflation" ... never buying from a college grad again
I brought coffee but not enough for the naked guy on your porch
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