u know ur drinking tonight lol i dont know why you try to deny it
but i dont wanna get emotional and drunk text
then give me ur phone
NEVER!!
I think my grandma died before she was convinced I was straight
If Andre Agassi did Crystal Meth, what was John McEnroe doing?
she was so "full of love" from watching twilight that she came over and gave me a handjob. when does the next movie come out?
She used the introduce me to her roommates so she could find out my name trick the next morning..I may be in love.
Keep in mind that he's 43, unemployed and living with his parents. There's really not much we could do to make his life worse.
There is a limo involved. Man up, and make yourself puke. Its only one more night of blacking out.
I want to do something romantic. Like gargle champagne before I put your dick in my mouth.
I think that last shot was nyquil. Please come gte me. WINGS.
I miss you too. And it was nice meeting your brother while I was mounting you
In the middle of blowing him I looked at him and said "Your so old..." and then continued. I need to stop drinking.
I may or may not vaguely recall punching you in the dick but it was a misunderstanding and I forgive you can we have make up sex?
I don't give a fuck that he's gay and keeps hitting on me. Free cocaine is free cocaine bro
Literally the fucking master of salvaging the possibility of a blow job whilst also crushing somebody's dreams.
HIGH AS FUCK. JUST WATCHED THE TRIPPIEST VIDEO EVER. IM NOT SCARED OF PANDAS. I GOTTA GO. TRIPPIN AGAIN
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