would you consider him our boss?
technically yes
then technically i slept with our boss
he just booty called me in advance instead of waiting til 3 am when hes trashed. i think thats really considerate and gentlemanlike.
Easy for you to say! His first impression of you isn't the drunk girl in a turtle costume who got hit by a car!
Same here... Well I was planning on having some sort of deep conversation, but looking at how grim of an outlook tomorrow has on you, I'll just re-inform you that I have your pants.
I bought a dress specifically for face plant durability... this is how serious I am about my drunk status this weekend
votre penis est TRES GRAND. i used vous because your penis is SO big
Yeah? Well I'm currently predrinking downstairs in my room by myself. Absolut and water with a hint of mint because I'm using the glass I keep my toothbrush in. Fuck, you bitches better get off work soon.
thanks for the 52 voicemails of you and crystal reciting the pleg of allegance
my bowl and the doses are under your mom's passenger seat
repeat: THERE IS LSD AND THC IN YOUR MOM'S CAR. HELP ME HELP US AVOID FELONIES
Waking up to find your mom holding your birth control pills and telling you I suggest you take this
I'd rather be castrated by angry chipmunks Than live your life for 24 hours
I was thinking that maybe I should not apply to Wells Fargo because they def have me on candid camera taking a drunken nap at 3am in their lobby.
He was pretty handsy. Told me I tasted like smoke. Good think he tasted that and not the stomach acid I just puked not ten minutes before.
SO HELP ME GOD THERE IS A SPIDER IN THIS PIZZA. IT IS VERY SMALL IT IS INSIDE THE CRUST AND IT IS ALIVE. I'M SO HUNGRY DO I KEEP EATING
Be happy for me... Or horny... Or be a really good friend and feel what I want you to feel. Jealousy
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