were with a gay guy with a minnesota accent. think about how funny that sounds.
Part in the USA is on your top 25 most played on iTunes. you have NO RIGHT to judge me.
dont worry about it. i always have emergency bong water with me
I definitely did a line of something I don't know with a Pagan biker. I make good decisions.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I let him do a line off my nipple in exchange for his prescription pain pills. I feel like 3/4 Vegas stripper, 1/4 underbelly of society.
It is completely possible to eat beef jerky sexually.
No more margaritas for you. Also, tequila should be reclassified as a hallucinogen.
we superglued breast forms to his chest. those aren't coming off anytime soon.
Do you hit a new low in life when you have to carry around a puke bag in your purse when you're hungover?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Hey, it's all about finding the bright side. And boobs are definitely a bright side.
I'm going to need a penis the size of a bat
He didn't even get to the first chorus of Hotel California before he started convulsing on top of me.
The cat is stealing cigarettes and my vagina cures blindness. How's your night?
I slept naked last night on stolen pillows. I felt like a golden goddess.
So about that you can bill me for the chair but it was David's idea to jump from the window sill into the washer with "clothing pillows of cloudiness" to land on to get ahold of him you have to phone his mother
I just talked to her she really hates you like a lot
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