He told me I remind him of his sister...
Was this before or after you did it?
before... I mean, it's been a long time. I just tried not to think of it during.
I'm good, just tired from chardonnay and giving hand jobs.
Desperate + desperate does not equal a fun night.
keep it on the DL tho cause i dont want it getting out and it coming off like i kidnapped her or something
she kicked me out for pissing in the recycling bin. I mean, is it really THAT big of a deal?
You dislocated his arm and then bought him two shots to numb the pain while you pushed it back in
they won't let me drive with my sombrero
MASS TEXT! MASS TEXT! Your sad horny friend has finally gotten it in and can go back to being normal once again. You're welcome.
I feel bad for his balls. Ive never seen so much sperm. He had to be dying
Be my booze princess bebe. I'll rescue you from the lame tidings you are confined to up in the sober castle.
If I just skip sleeping, does hangover still happen? Gonna try it. Will report back. StTAND BY
He had the same tone in his voice and look in his eyes that he gets when he says UFOs aren't real.
This guy on tinder just told me that he wanted to tie me up and asked me what I thought. I told him I wanted tacos
I'm not sure what happened. There's a frozen waffle in the floor and he's walking around with a curtain rod and making planes out of bread slices...
Its one of those days... someone might die
Would a picture of my dick help?
Randomize
