i'm going to be honest, my vagina smells.
i just picked a peanut m&m up off the floor. with my toes. and then proceeded to eat it.
that would be two times in a week with two different guys.
they have the same name so it only counts as one guy right?
afterward, he apologized, hugged me, and then gave me a granola bar and said “this is my apology gift.”
So yeah she lost her virginity in a wheel chair with a broken pelvis. I'm still trying to figure out how I should feel about that.
Some random walked into our tent, woke her up and said "Harry Potter must not go back to Hogwarts!"
Yeah her jello shots are the next closest thing to a lethal injection. That potent.
I enjoy it and I rock at it. I wish there were a respectable way to make giving blow jobs a career.
I saw a picture of my dad holding my legs in a kegstand. Town festival=success.
Nothing better than going to Mass on Easter Sunday with "I love penis" henna tattooed across your back. Love your Indian culture.
He simply fell in the fire, rolled out and continued to finish his bottle of vodka. Everyone else instantly sobered up just watching it.
Trying to ignore the fact that a kid I hooked up with twice just gave me spare keys to his house ... and car.
How is it possible for someone who gets so many dick picks sent to her, to be experiencing such a complete and utter lack of dick IRL.
i had to call him over, it was my last chance at getting some tonight
HE HAS A RESTRAINING ORDER AGAINST U!!!
it expires tomorrow
Turns out your granddad is cooler than you. We're taking him on our New year's eve pub crawl instead. Sorry.
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