He's telling me stories about how he made out with a 14 yr old when he was 22. I'm going home.
Is it sad that the only reason I haven't lapsed into depression is that I'm prettier than her?
Nah, we all need something.
there are so many fish in the see you have left to fuck
They past out watching a re-run of the 1984 presidential debate on cspan
there comes a time in a mans life when you ask yourself, will i fake love for blowjobs? and the answer is always yes
last night we were having sex and i didn't care if i got off. i was just holding up my hand behind his head so i could look at my new ring. i think he knew.
You know me. im down for anything that could harm my well being. lets dress like dolphins so everyone will see what dicks they are.
Are the homeless actually allowed to bathe in fountains located on Main Street in downtown Houston? Can Houston TX be so progressive as to condone public bathing?
I only blacked out one night of three if that isn't fucking personal growth idk what is
Bouncer came into the bathrooms to tell us the old one-person-per-stall rule, realised it was two girls banging, and left us to it. Lesbiperks.
I expected better sex from someone with the word CHAOS tattooed above his dick. But on the bright side, he was down to watch a documentary on Honey Badgers afterwards so I guess I'll keep him around.
The night was crazy enough that we did a workout. Instructed by the bouncer at 2am
All I know is that I got to have an orgasm yesterday during sex so nobody can put a damper on my day, NOBODYYYYYY
Just realized tomorrow is the anniversary of the time Dean and I glued DJ's leg back together with Neosporin and an Ace bandage. I'm bringing red velvet cupcakes to the party to celebrate.
The neighbor just poured gasoline on his 2 brush fires and proceeded to shoot Roman candles at them 🤔
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