i never knew gatorade would taste just as good on the way back up
Just found out that wake n bake is not one of the 7 habits of highly effective people..
I could only remember yelling "rip it down" as he ninja jumped off the bed, kicked the wall, and superman punched the fire alarm off the ceiling.
I've always wondered why you never put the hotel room in your name...
Going to the beach. Greeting Sandy with a blunt. Wish us luck!
And I'm still awake, and you left me. Like the guy on Jurassic Park, that jumped out of the car expecting me to save myself while there is a man eating T-rex ready to tear my ass apart except theres a mathematician and paleontologist there to save me because they are bad asses.
Its not chugging if its just one gulp
Yeah, tell that to my thumb. Cause it was up my ass all night waiting for you.
Hi I am too sober and out of rum. Translation: I owe you some beer. Also, get better taste in beer.
I got into a fight with the dude who fell asleep on my couch bc he wouldn't wake up but managed to get a lunch date set for thurs with another guy by the time he finally left. So how's your day so far?
I've replaced you with thin mints and masturbation
I have been drunk every time I've gone to mexico. I do not remember mexico.
The Uber driver took us to a Waffle House. We didn't even say anything when we got in. MAGIC.
Well, she yelled at the stripper that she couldn't lick whipped cream off his nipples because she is lactose intolerant.
He shit with the door open. I think that means we are in a realtionship.
If by science you mean beer then YES!!!!
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