She said to delete the bj video, but I accidentally hit the 'send to her bf' button. My bad
Strip beer pong in the front yard? Of course the cops showed up
so the photographer said "let's get a picture of the cousins" so we posed together, and then he said " lets get a picture of the couples" So we posed together.
I'm seeing how long I can hold this wine in my mouth. I have so many adventures! I'm like Teddy Ruxpin!
On a side note the mornings you do so much Xanax that you wake up totally at one with the universe and feel invincible are great
Looks better than the half a blow job I got the other night which I had to finish myself. From a chick I refer to simply as "mom jeans".
My penis needs a shock collar
I didn't know what to do so I panicked and puked in my pillowcase with my pillow still inside.
I'm hungover during 4th grade graduation practice. I AM THEIR FUTURE.
He held my hair back for me while i vomited in my driveway last night and i repayed him by farting mid-heave.
Imma go take shower so I can cleanly change into my drinking underwear.
I remember being like "I can't hold both of you guy's hair back!" so I put headbands on each of you
she compared me favorably to her vibrator
which one?
Cops swarmed my car last night in the walmart parking lot cause of the paper plate
I swear to god, if you ever yell my name during sex with my sister again..your balls will be stapled to your nipples.
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