So J keeps drinking his last bit of drink, then spitting it out and drinks it again. Savor the flavor?
just as he was about to cum he started shouting "I THINK I CAN! I THINK I CAN!" over and over again.
Oh just living the dream. And by living the dream I mean drinking franzia out of a martini glass and watching family matters. Also, drinking every time Carl Winslow has a mustache and Eddie wears MC Hammer pants
Get everyone into the kitchen. I need you all to witness me friend-zoning him. Just in case.
I can feel my ovaries exploding thinking about them.
You should probably stop your little brother from ruining thanksgiving. I just caught him trying to stuff a cake in a drawer... And now he's puking.
I think I'm done drinking. How did we end up partying at a frat house with my mom...
But there's never enough margarita money.
This is going to be one of those situations where we lose a day, isn't it
I'm by the tree and the Dora the explorer balloon .. Look for the Dora the explorer balloon
The girl in line in front of me at the grocery store is buying wine, m&m minis, a toothbrush, and condoms. Is it inappropriate to high-five her?
My intervention, when it happens, should have vanilla cake....buttermilk icing.
Yes, you can glue plastic eyes to my dick and take pictures while I'm asleep. If you tell anyone I said you could do that Ima fight you.
i woke up in just my thong, face first on my bed with all the lights on. how hungover do you think i felt?
meow
use your words like a big girl
i ran over your cat.
If you shit your pants and not say anything about it right before we have sex one more time I'm dumping you.
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