If that ambulance is off to save our dignity, please tell them it's too late...
He kept asking me to take off my bra and I sat up so he could. He fumbled with it for a few minutes and when I sighed and went to undo it he goes, "Yeah, you got this."
Before I left in the morning I deleted her purity ring app off her iPod, I figured it would save her the shame
I am going to dream of scrotums tonight, I just know it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I took "we live within stumbling distance of the bar" as an invitation and challenge
Hmmm. I never knew the difference. I've done either one and had stronger or weaker versions but usually if i took enough, i tripped balls. That should be a PSA for kids... if you take drugs and the drugs are weak, just take more drugs... The More You Know
Turns out I sent a dick pic to my sister's ex. Grindr is the devil's eharmony.
Last night she walked off and disappeared from everyone got home at 330 and said she went to the casino with her cab driver.
I was planning out a scrapbook to memorialize my affair.......and that's when it hit me, I don't make good choices. On the upside, the scrap book came out great and I am glad I saved all the gate passes from the airport.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Update: they told me I was twerking to twenty one pilots
Dude I bought tampons with cardboard applicators by accident and now I know my vagina hates the 1960s
You took one look at him and said "let's hope I don't remember this tomorrow" then you took another shot and chased it with a beer.. I guess it was a success.
He's going to be in the air guitar championships in june. Need I say more.
Damn, I just did coke with a dude in a bathroom and after he took his dick out right in front of me and took a piss. What a power move.
I think/hope James is drunk. He's standing in the front lawn loudly declaring "I AM a popsicle!" Over and over....
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