VAGINAS EVERYWHERE
they're staring at me
that's the type of pussy you go to the bathroom and wack off before you fuck her, just to last longer inside of her!
He's doing the single life. He recently finished like a 3 year relationship. You can't date him.
But I don't want to date him. I just want to look at him. Naked. And in my bed.
new plan: i think the keg will fit in my purse.
Just saw a homeless man taking a shower in someone's sprinkler system....
My brother just woke up to see me on te couch dipping hamburger buns into pizza sauce. I'm beginning to question the life choices that led to this moment.
she didnt realize that i was putting on the same condom i used the night before with some other girl
I'd bet your vomit would be flammable at this point. Can I try to light it?
We wouldn't be friends if you didn't.
There should be a rule.......that if you have a small penis you must wear a hat with propellers on it so you can fly the hell off the planet.
What is soo wrong about a house of half-naked people hugging each other and laughing?
The pinata full of drugs?
I have seriously seen way too may DIY cut off jean booty shorts and half shirts on fat girls this summer. Fuck you Pinterest.
Man, I meant to go dancing, but accidentally took mushrooms and just threw the frisbee in the park
Surprise ending
After the first time we had sex he kept saying "I'm proud of you" over and over again
Her mom came in and passed out drunk on the floor next to us while she was riding me, "it's all good, she does this all the time" is what she said
Never doubt me. I am drunk and unstoppable and I will finish this book
Randomize
