was it more than 30 minutes?
ya
then you're in a relationship
so, I mean this in the straightest way possible, but don't you ever just feel like you owe Jon Stewart a blowjob...
Well now I have my semen on her headphones
After he finished his girlfriend called him. I sat there, tied his shoes for him, then he high fived me and said "this is gonna be a great summer steph"
Hickey on my chest, threw out my elbow and now walking out my shame.
Youre getting too old for this
Found trail of ibuprofen on ground. I'm like the intervention version of e.t.
I believe you called it tequila and nipples. The proceeded to strike a pose.
I'm glad I booty called you last night. It was nice to see you and talk, in between all the sex...
Lost my virginity dressed as catwoman. He was dressed as batman. Glad I waited.
Why do I have a bunch of cash....and your bra.
You called me to pick you up from the bar at 9:00. When we drove over the speed bumps you put your hands in the air and pretended you were on a roller coaster.
Just gave my thesis presentation, pretty sure I made out with the admissions woman last night.
Will Smith has a direct hotline to my emotions
Edible... I FEEL CLOSER TO THE UNIVERSE AND I DEF TRAVELED IN TIME. I THINK I CAN READ MINDS NOW.
so my parents definitely heard me when I was cumming last night...
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