Her body is shaped like a coke bottle...a two liter coke bottle
69 |D_O
wtf does that mean??
it's a very specialized emoticon, means 'i heard you fucking some dude through my bedroom wall last night and so i listened intently"
singing james blunt while drunk. tell me thats not wonderful
I had to remind him that there is no "age exchange rate" between the u.s. and spain, and that 16 will always equal 16
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I just chased the everclear with Listerine...I think I found my new chaser!
i think that dennys waitress has my boxers
rolled over to window for cup of snow instead of leaving bed for water. that's how hungover
WHERE ARE MY FUCKING EYEBROWS?!
I guess I just laid down next to him with the entire pot of mac n cheese and started giving him a handie with one hand and eating with the other
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I just ate a raisin that tasted like wine. Is this real life or is this my body trying to tell me it's Friday and I should be drinking right now?
Oh I see how it is...you can snap chat the world your balls but I wear dinosaur feetie pajamas and I'm the "weird one"
I was just thrown into the pool and now I'm surrounded by men... You would think this is the dream but I'm just confused
He danced with some other girls and you started yelling "I can't believe I wasted half my Chili's gift card on you" at him
In going to go underground and live with the mole people for a while.
Dude, I wish I could live my entire life blacked out.
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