i'm all for saving the environment, but when we get into the shower to fuck, he shouldn't flip his shower hourglass timer
you kept spraying the cat with water and then telling it to "man up" when it cried
used foursquare to find where i am. please come get me. this is the scariest bedroom ever.
just fucked my old babysitter, gotta love block parties
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I walked into the garage and you were telling the bikes that you were not that drunk.
well... just scaled a wall and entered the bar through the balcony. just making some last minute memories nbd.
He put up a Facebook album attempting to sell off their Harvard furniture. Items for sale include: his friend, a broken lamp, an item described as a 'carpet and/or sleeping bag', a pair of paint stained cargo pants, size 'Tyler', and a self proclaimed $3 bottle of wine, which he is offering for $2
We stayed up until 4:20 AM. The next thing I remember was waking up at 4 PM, like my internal alarm clock knew.
just gonna show up naked this time. that way i dont have to worry about finding my clothes tomorrow
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I had a girl last night tell me that she was happy to find a condom wrapper in my garbage because,and I quote, "well at least you're not raw dogging every slore that crosses your path"
Okay. I am working on pulling a tooth out of my mouth. Call me.
Well I think I made it pretty obvious I wasn't in to it. I was drinking a beer while he was going down in me
She has "Massive Shits" listed as a turn off. That's very specific and there's a story behind it I bet.
Sweet, got a date tomorrow night
I am so sorry. Not sure for what, but whatever I did last night probably merits an apology, so I'm covering my bases.
I think the moment she woke up butt naked on a mattress with her phone still on her face was the point she knew last night was fucked up
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