she left her pants. im pretty sure she grabbed mine on accident. im like 9 man sizes bigger than her. wtf
How do i ask the guy i made out with for 4 hours if he is gay? He keeps telling me i'm so adorable and that he had a ''blasty''
new midget porn idea. Wizard of Jizz: Munchkins Revenge
There's a fat drunk walrus bitch here next to me and shes already puked and now falling on herself
OH FUCK NOW HER BOYFRIEND IS MAKING OUT WITH HER VOMIT HOLE
Sounds like a good blink 182 concert...
the girl next to me in class is drinking a margarita out of a slurpee cup. i know your going to ask how i know its a margarita and the answer is i can smell the tequila. i never want to leave this place
He just yelled in the bar, "So I stuck it in two girls butts, why are you bringing that up now?"
Jon thought he was that blonde chick from Three's Company when he was shrooming
It was a sobriety test blowjob. If he could get it up, he could get me home.
i don't remember going ever taking off my pants but my pubes are shaved into a K and kelsey is passed out in the shower.
THE CEO RESPONDED TO THE MEMO WITH HIS "UNICORN" EMAIL ADDRESS AND NOW HE'S APOLOGIZING TO EVERYONE FOR USING HIS PERSONAL EMAIL AT WORK.
Aaand now my client contact has seen your boobs.
YOU HAVE PISSED AND FUCKED ON LITERALLY EVERYTHING IN MY HOUSE
Not everything, just a few things. And only a few times. The odds are really not all that bad when you break it down.
you’ve pissed every time you slept over. there’s no such thing as odds anymore. it’s guaranteed
Some nights you just end up digging your mcdouble out of the trash and eating it. it happens.
Where does dick fit into Maslow's hierarchy of needs?
I'm in the fetal position trying to figure out a way to get someone to deliver me pancakes.
Randomize
