In line at the arbys drive thru on foot. Legendary.
Can't imagine what could be worse than pet-naming your penis, but I'll let it go.
true best friends attempt to put quarters in each others butts. Thanks for the best birthday ever!
the next morning i told him i was impressed that he remembered my name. he said it wasn't that hard when "tracy
They just sang me a song about how small my dick is in front of the whole bar
we literally spent four hours convincing you that all 5 of your toes were there. no more everclear on a tuesday.
My grandma had to be escorted out by police.
you dragged me by my throat over to the shots. this is a new level of alcoholism..
say 'i' if you broke up a fight involving your father at TD bank today....
I woke up to a head of lettuce on my nightstand, someones Honda abandoned in my yard, the cat partially shaved, and a empty bottle of sailor hanging by a scarf from the rafters. Oh, and 26 people apparently came though and rubbed my back in the process of the night. Happy 23rd to me!
How high are you?
I feel like breakfast can just fly into my mouth
We got naked and peed in the garden. Something about bonding with our new house
If if makes you feel any better, you're definitely the hottest guy I've ever friendzoned.
Face washed and sleeping pill taken. Here's hoping for a more sex filled tomorrow.
we played animal sounds and i linked arms with her cuz we were both cats....fate and my community college drama teacher have chosen my one night stand
Randomize
