I did that thing where I cum for no reason again.
those are such fre$h shoes
going to ignore the use of the word "fresh" in a sentence that isnt related to produce and/or other food stuffs and especially the part where you replaced an "s" with a dollar sign
good. and stop kissing my girl you dirty slut.
i don't think she's still your girl..plus, she kept screaming "kiss me! i'm a lesbian!" last night so i think you're outta luck..
where does the pee come out of this thing
I just told my boyfriend I think I might be pregnant using Emoji icons....
which icon did you use to tell him he's not the father?
my advisor is telling us the best way to sneak in alcohol on move in day. I definately picked the right college
Reason 37 booty call break ups suck: I literally could not find his house in the daytime.
Listen to my proposal.... I feed you crackers while I fuck you ever so gently.
do you know where my other puke covered boot is
Just ignore his excessive use of exclamation points and be happy this one is of age.
You fucker.
One of the annoying girls in my 7 AM class showed up drunk for her 21st birthday and just auctioned off her fake ID.
Tried to put an eye patch on while hooking up with a girl. She was not amused.
My mom told me to get it out of my system now bc once I hit 30 it's not acceptable to get "white girl wasted".
So what's your itinerary for Amsterdam?
Show up, get drunk, get laid, try not to miss my flight home.
Drunk and bowling. Only good things can come of this
Randomize
