happy early fathers day!!!
im not a father
about that...
I just had to google "How do I get semen stains off of drywall." I'm relatively proud of this
Nobody is wearing shirts anymore. What is happening.
he called AT&T to make sure that he had insurance before he threw his cell phone into the fountain.
Forgot to mention there might be a picture of me being thrown in the air while at a Mexican restaurant
Also, the zoloft kicked in and I can't get an erection anymore. So I'm depressed.
She just licked her nipple in public to get a free bar tab.
its like what part of i just threw up mcdonalds breakfast means i want to make out with you?
Wheres my essay?
You mean the vodka drenched shreds of paper taped all over the walls of the hallway?
Did you see the video of me eating a marshmellow on fire?
Like, what's the customary waiting period to hookup with your newly single ex that you never stopped hooking up with?
In local news, attempts to hide phone from extremely drunk self prove unsuccessful for Dallas woman.
And that facial hair. He might as well shave it so it spells "douche" on one cheek and "nozzle" on the other.
Just caught myself trying to make grilled cheese with the stove off. I think my dad knows I'm high.
I can't believe just smoked out of a pear
I can't believe you had a pear already made to smoke out of, that was impressive
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