I heard Topanga got a DUI. I need that mugshot asap.
i dont know why he would complain when i touch him there.
I kind of wish I was already fat. So I could eat all I want and not worry about getting fat. Cause I'd already be at that point.
i just unblacked out cuddled in a pita pit booth with ten dollars rubberbanded to my hand.
He said he wanted to make me his Twinkie, "filled with his delicious cream." ABSOLUTELY 100% NO YOU MAY NOT REPEAT ****NOT**** GIVE HIM MY NUMBER EVER EVER EVER. Please confirm receipt and full comprehension of this message.
As we're eating sushi she goes I just want to get a disease so my mom can take care of me... Great first date
no dont worry i changed into my costume in the hospital bathroom
Every time I see him I get horny. I can't help it!
Just stop. You're making other wives look bad. We are all starting to hate you.
facebook is just a cold reminder of all the times other bitches won my hookups
I just laughed so hard that my back cracked so hard that I thought I was cumming. Magic
He tried to introduce me to one of his friends that kept looking at me and I said "OH NO! I can't do this shit anymore!!" It was like I had a vision of what drunk me would've done in about 20 minutes.
he really is such a sweet guy. it’s a shame i have to break his heart.
Oh I fucked him, definitely. We played Strip Halo.
you just don't appreciate it because you've never been arrested
If you are refering to the duckling living in your bath...I can explain, but before I do, can you throw a peice of bread in there?
Randomize
