Fiestas. Its like a classier verson of mardi gras.
some girl just asked me how to spell unconscious. I really want to know what she was texting.
She guessed my name 9 times, and 5 of those times she guessed Mike. Figured that'd be an easy target for the night.
Somehow he came on his own face...then he freaked out
He's slept with 25.5 people. Wtf is a half?
So here i am dipping ice cream in my vodka and watching the bad girls club on demand. This is not ok
I either just got free sex or a nice jail sentence. Text me in 10 to verify.
but im not going to tell the owner of the penis of my dreams how to wear his hair.
the bruises from climbing out of the window last night make sitting at my desk impossible. legit excuse to not study right?
Well, we won the drunk before noon contest!
Really stoned me is having a very serious, intent conversation with my mom about egg rolls and koolaid flavors.
I guess my vagina missed him because it called and left a 5 min. message. Color me impressed
You were drink-wine-from-the-bottle drunk trying to take everybody's blood pressures again.
You know I was thinking and I've never seen a penis in a whirlpool before
I don't know where you went, but if you're anywhere near the liquor, pour me another drink
Randomize
