I just got back to Nicks and I shoul dnot have drank this much when I have to work at 7AM!!!!!
My hair reeks of homosexuality.
it doesn't get any better than taco bell and soft core porn
dude sorry but u no that when a guys 'likes' ur pic on facebook it only means he was just jacking off to it.
If your pregnant with his baby maybe we can start getting weed for free.
She uses my penis to point at the tv when we talk about the shows. I love her
I just watched a girl in the library pull a vodka bottle out of her bag. I think I'm going to give her my number.
You're gonna die alone anyway. Even if you do meet a man, they die earlier than women. Best case, you have to deal with grieving over his death and then die alone a couple years later. Worst case, you get a terminal illness and he divorces you, leaving you to die alone anyway.
Thanks, mom.
I took a few sips of my hugeee bottle of liquid Vicodin and smoked my one hitter and now I'm going thru my attic like Indiana Jones
I just told him he had gained a new brother. He immediately knew I meant the eskimo kind.
It really does creep me out though that the next ten years will involve my friends creating smaller versions of themselves because to be honest I don't know how much I like some of them. So that thought it really scary
Curdled. you forgot that word. It was a curdled buttery nipple shot.
LESSON OF THE DAY: Saying Everclear gets you out of explaining anything.
If it's any consolation, I made really strong brownies yesterday and had 3 and then I saw demons
We kind of crashed their funeral party. Oops.
Randomize
