If one more person calls me a lesbian I am going to have to give you head in public.
my ex gf has sooo many hot friends... i feel like im at a grocery store when on her fb... just shopping around.
too bad being hungover isnt a job. just threw up from 9am to 5pm
Everytime I think about NYE, my gag reflex kicks in.
I'm having a self conscious moment and I need your complete honest opinion of my boobs.
You know, it doesn't really count as a walk of shame if you guys showered together the next morning
literally overdrew my bank account at 3 in the morning to eat subway with 7 sherriffs.
nothing like going to the bathroom, running into the wall, thinking its a person and saying"its ok i just had the 4 beers" even the wall knew i was lying
I want to throw pennies on her stage, or just ripping up a dollor bill and throw them one at a time.
I taped a pair of scissors and a coupon for a waxing on the door. He gets to choose.
So right before she was about to give me head she tapped the tip and said "Is this thing on" I think I'm in love.
He's a psychology major, so instead of becoming a stripper, I'm just working out my daddy issues with him. And his cock. And spankings.
They're much more educational now btw. Don't judge.
Also I would love to pregame at your place if I weren't stuck at mine drinking laxatives
Girl you know I'm an advocate of debauchery but you might wanna check yoself.
Side Note: Everyone in my office is getting engaged and having baby showers. And I'm all like, fuck your joy, I just want more string cheese in my life.
Randomize
