I asked her if she watches the office. She said no, but do you watch I'm a celebrity get me outa here? That's when i knew. Deal breaker
amateur piercings on our way to the beach? check.
You were hugging the toilet and shouting "don't let fatty eat me" through the closed door.
you covered his dog in toothpaste. safe to say hes not gonna call you.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Sweating vodka and spray tan, I feel like a trophy wife.
You were too drunk yesterday to deal with me crying so I am too drunk to deal with logic.
Oh, and one of the worst parts... his name was Mario. I fucked a Nintendo character.
Totally just railed SuperGirl for my birthday. Best Girlfriend EVER!
Drove by a guy getting road head, midday on O Street. That could be us, but you won't let me in your pants when you drive.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You can't give me tequila around boys who have girlfriends. That ain't new.
So I'm trying to figure out how to talk my boss into allowing pajama day once a week. Any ideas?
I wanna get to the point where I can just send a question mark and get an exclamation point in response
OMG LOOK AT THAT PIECE OF MAN
I haven’t trained for this.
On a scale of having tea with Ghandi to the apocalypse how bad of an idea is it to drink with a 100 degree fever?
He may not be good for my soul but he’s great for my vagina!
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