My ? Is...... Would it be sweet or creepy to take a girl on a first date to chigago?
creepy.
He seemed more like the type to get donkey punched by a she-male hooker to me
Just called my mom. She definitely saw all those fb statuses so thanks for that.
Haha did she know what fisting meant?
Yeah. Which is upsetting in itself
I made friends with a raccoon. I pet it. Like I was Pocahontas.
You high fived me for banging your sister but lock me outta house bc I ate your pumpkin pie? Priorities bro
She left me naked in my bed and without my phone I had her give me her phone number on the calculator on my laptop. It might be fake.
My chin is breaking out a bit and feels all itchy and burny like I'm allergic to something. Are you using a new lotion on your balls?
why is there blood on my car? and are we still friends?
Watching this game makes me realize that we have yet to do Skype shots. What kind of long distance alcoholics are we?
Fuck romance. Just shaved my nipples in the shower because I felt like it. That's the life I'm about.
literally 50% of my time being 20 has involved my genitals thus far
I'm still hammered too. I started tweeting the time at one point I'm pretty sure.
There is a woman in the stall next to me giving a pep talk to her daughter that wants to call off her wedding. I'm afraid to pee!
So do I get points for screwing my recently single ex boyfriend and then telling him to go fight for his ex back?
Turns out naked yoga wasn't a pickup line. I feel betrayed.
Randomize
