Almost ran you over in the parking lot. You look good
I just typed my entire senior project presentation on my blackberry,
hell no. last time, i couldn't pee straight for a week.
Just threw up in my seat during the national anthem. Probably not good.
She just took the bottle of jager to the bathroom and locked the door. Now I hear the water running..if the house floods she's paying for it
Just saw ur booking photo. Love that u were already wearing orange. Its like u knew
College is the ONLY place where you can pass off morning sickness as being hungover. I'm currently pouring beer in a spray bottle so I can spray it on myself and smell drunk.
Yeah.. he went to Tebow in the middle of the crosswalk and got hit by a cab... The yellow ones really don't stop
Where are you? I hear fireworks and you've gone missing. I'm sure that is not coincidence.
I masterbated to the rocky theme song. I'm pretty sure that just beat any sex experience I've ever had.
best eviction party ever.
it wasn't an eviction party you asshole, you just happened to get yourself evicted during the party.
We are not having sex in the fucking kindergarten
Eating breakfast at 1:30 in the afternoon stark naked is how everyone should live
I HAVENT HAD A NICE A NICE DICK SINCE FEBRUARY!! I WANNA KEEP THIS ONE!!!
I don't just want drugs. I deserve drugs.
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