You can't wash away shame.
I can try.
I could have mohawked her pubes.
Oh right she's pregnant - that's why all of her statuses have been uber depressing
Wella between the drunkards, the inevitable slutty costumes, and someone doing a BODY SHOT OFF A PREGNANT GIRL, i lost my halloween spirit. Bah humbug.
She is just riding on my slutty coat tails.
he went to have surgery in the morning and apparently they found lip gloss on his dick
He told me that "my little fuckpig" was a term of endearment in Britain. I think I'm in love.
I'm so prepared to puke on walk of shame tomorrow that I'm putting a toothbrush and toothpaste in my purse the night before. And to think, my dad thought I wouldn't make it in college.
So this 40 year old woman was trying to bring me into the bathroom to blow me and the bartender called the cops on her because she was showing her tits. Only in asbury.
i have an important question...can you drink in jail?
"what's it like being a dancer turned stoner" well, i can change the netflix using my feet mid bongrip, so there's that.
At least you didn’t announce to an entire bar you’ve eaten pussy, and then knocked your beer over.
Hey what are you up to?
I am wear the people with the mustaches live. I have found their home.
DUDE, WE BOUGHT THE ACID TOGETHER.
Who's phone is in my pants and why did I wake up clutching a handle of vlad?
They think I fractured my spine while doing your cousin on concrete.
Randomize
