woke up with peach flovored chap stick on my taint ! dont ask why i know it was peach
I hope whoever gets these locks of love doesn't have a drug test anytime soon
Ricky Martin is gay. You owe me $10 from 3rd grade.
Just found out its our ciliated mucous membrane that traps the molly when we snort it. Biology does relate to life
Remember that amazing deer? You peed next to that dear..
I never had a problem I couldn't slut my way out of.
he called me from germany to tell me about all the gummy bears he bought...i'm doubting his sobriety
Thanks for not stopping me when I decided to call my mom at 2 in the morning to ask her where I was born
I've had more sex in the two weeks since we broke up than I ever had in any two weeks we were together.
walk of shame into the pharmacy with a busted up chin and laughing the lady at the counter rolled her eyes at me when I asked for the morning after pill.
Can we put this graduation on the shelf figuratively and go drink
Just saw the trailer for Spike Lee's version of Oldboy. They filmed a lot of it in A's building so like every scene features a place where I had or almost had sex. If oral counts then pretty much every scene.
Nothing like cleaning out your cleavage from lunch, finding cookie crumbs and eating them...
You could see the bone sticking out of his shin and he insisted he was "just gunna walk it off"
I'm going to reward myself for having sex with coffee and a breakfast burrito.
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