i just turned barefoot contessa into a drinking game. everytime she uses a knife butter or salt i drink.
FIrst one done
How did it go?
I dunno I taled about women being treated wrong and quoted Ice T. So probably a "c"
Sitting next to a retarded hot married man on the plane, I got 6.5 hrs to homewreck this shit.
she said "the two best ways to sober up are to nurse someone or give a blowjob" and im gonna go along with it.
I am not old enough to be running into past fucks at the bank. This is at least a twenty five year old milestone.
He's sobering up. It was really bad for like 45 minutes. He cried while telling me how he pictured us eating hotdogs on the beach together.
the most drunk i have ever been? possibly. the most drunk i have ever been on a monday? definently.
Seriously... Things should be way more awkward... The entire female half of the bridal party INCLUDING THE BRIDE blew me in high school....
I can't wet the bed. That was the old me. I'm grown
Oh my god
The 12 year old son winked and made eyes at me while his father fed me vodka gummy bears. Gameday yo
He just said "I know you want my cock" and I said nah. I want food bro
I came so hard my entire leg seized. Her blowjob gave me a Charlie horse.
He took me out to dinner to tell me we had to stop fucking so randomly
Honestly wish he pleased me as much as queso does
THERE HAS BEEN GRANDTHEFT IN THE HOUSE. SOMEONE STOLE THE BABYWIPES AND YOU NEED TO BUY MORE BEFORE WE LET YOU IN. oh and you have to take two shots before we'll let you in. with no chaser.
My penis is lonely
So is my ring finger
Randomize
