He still wants to giggity, regardless of his girlfriend. So...I guess I'm happy again.
Just gave my little brother the collection of clothes that boys have left in my room since I've been in college for his birthday.
I have taken lazynest to a new level. I took a picture of the notes on the board instead of writing them. I win.
I thought we agreed, no more super glueing action figures to my dick
You went from loaded cattleman, to football player, to better football player, to art major from Missouri. Your future was looking so good for a while.
I think I'm finally maturing. I'm happy he found someone. Good for him. I sincerely hope she doesn't choke on his tiny penis.
The waitress bought us a round. She said if anyone could do 52 margarita mondays in a row, it was us.
I saw someone get arrested while I was moving out...this has to be a good sign.
I know your texting costs money, but I'll pay for it if you consider this. Oversized frozen jello shots. I'll buy everything needed if you approve. Let me know
he might be the rich husband I pretend to love for the rest of my life!!!!
I dont know if this is a good time to tell you but im actually a freshman.. not a senior
My high school reunion is Thursday so I need to find an outfit that says "Haha, you got fat and I got tits. Suck it, bitches."
Dude you spoke to a girl about CRICKET. She MUST want sex
We got drunk and crashed a fifty year old woman's birthday party for the food. Whoops.
I have vodka and 50 pizza rolls best spring break ever
Randomize
