can you buy anything in the cafeteria for less than $2? I spent the last of my laundry money on a chia pet
He was in me and said I can't believe this happened because of facebook. MOOD KILLER.
17 year olds will be the death of me.
How do guys with small dicks who cheat on their girlfriends get girlfriends!?!
College students should never be allowed to have snow days. Never.
He gets creativity points for the hot sauce. But it may be awhile until my nipples forgive him
My heart is having a hard time convincing my vagina he's not worth it.
She poured a bottle of rum in the champagne fountain, did like 5 jello shots at the same time, then lit herself on fire. Twice. This is how everyone should turn 21.
I just realized my life is a timeline of drunken injuries.
What a dumb baby whore.
In other news I have discovered that grindr is the easiest way to get free meals
Oh god iv'e slept with this police officer before oh god oh god
Congratulations, you've begun to unfuck your life.
I'm allotting you four buildings to piss on tonight. Choose wisely.
All I did today was eat pizza and use my vibrator.
Randomize
