my vagina has a 5:00 shadow
I told her I was pledging and she immediately proposed to give me head in the bathroom. i love how easy rushees are
Nothings more american than taking a shit with a handgun next to you.
apparently i traded the tiffany necklace my mom bought me for 2 shots and next in line for beer pong at the frat.
I got tired of walking to the bathroom that I decided to throw up in a cup. I now have 3 cups full of vomit on top of my mini fridge
Peanut butter while high is kinda stressful
Of course I'm hard in the pics. If there's a chance that these pictures will cause a scandal later in my life I at least want my dick to look it's biggest
Call me when you get off. I have stories about black lesbians in jail begging to braid my hair...
I feel like I'm laying on a pillow cloud. With little baby angel fingers between me and the cloud lifting me up. Singing hymns in my ear.
I'll give you some choices for what to get me for Christmas. 1.You naked. 2.You naked 3.You naked.
My car has a permanent smell of sex to it now.
The last thing I remember before blacking out was passing that sobriety test.
Hey! you should come over!
Who is this? The number is saved as "Sexy Awesome"
I was so drunk, he put me to bed and went down stairs to hang out with his friends. Apparently, I was curled up in the closet, spooning the dresser when he came back up.
i think i'm just going to start having sex with his brother, he's much hotter and it would definately be less illegal.
Randomize
