you dont know how to answer ppls txts anymore?!?
im sorry, i don't get text messages.
I'm not 100% on this, but I'm pretty sure I just accidently talked my way into a threesome.
Just desperately used the "it's a boy" cigar I saved from my\nnephews birth to roll a blunt
When I got to his place, he served wine and cheese and made me sit on the balcony while he read his poetry to me. He cockblocked himself.
Evidently I told a girl she should leave the bar because no one wanted to fuck her.
So yeah she lost her virginity in a wheel chair with a broken pelvis. I'm still trying to figure out how I should feel about that.
The blackout version of me left a ransom note to the sober self. Somebody needs to control that guy
Im coming down to miami this weekend
We shall drink from the everclear river
See,its just the last time this situation happened I ended up hiding in a closet on my birthday
I have to shave my legs first. I'm afraid tiny woodland creatures will fly out if he tries touches them.
I just said give me penis or give me death. Some patriot is rolling around in his grave right now.
I just put on underwear fresh outta the dryer and it's like tiny Angels are giving them warm supportive hugs all over
Like who turns down taking a nap inside of someone in 2014.
I just fell down my stairs, guess that's how my sunday is gonna go
When he pulled out it sounded like a balloon deflating
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