Kroger has a sale on economy packs of some ridic brand of condom with a smiley devil heart on it $4.99 for 24
Sounds like a baby waitign to happen
You want to go to a white party at LAX
Clubs are lame especially themed ones. Im not in a fucking episode of laguna beach
Turns out I'm like the Wayne Gretzky of hiding cum. Who knew?
It was like doing yoga with his dick in me
i have it on good authority that she is not as good at giving head as she claims she is
she asked if mt Rushmore was natural or man made
The only thing I really remember is repeating "I hope I still have a job on Monday". Oh and pulling my boob out of my dress.
So I take it the company Christmas dinner went well then...
the ladder is at the bottom of the pool
If you wanna be a real wingman, create some insecurity and comment on that pic of all the hot girls with "Id do every girl in this pic.. except the fat one".
I had one glass of wine then passed out for 4 hours. It's like I'm having a quarter-life crisis.
Got to work this morning and thought... Did I really dance on that pole last night
This is not a drill. I need a cape. And a tuxedo. Simultaneously. Repeat. NOT. A. DRILL....
If all that ever happens between us is orgasms and dank memes, I think I'd be okay with that.
I need to stop waking up with no pants on.
what happened this time
I dont know everyone was gone and there was a bird in the room
Does this cleavage amount say, “Fuck it, I’m over dating, let’s just fuck?”
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