So she said grabbing my cock was like holding a giant crayola from pre-school.
that was the beginning of the end.
I too understand the importance of cheesy bread
In case you were wondering, you weren't dreaming. I really did get stuck between my bed and the wall last night.
i just stepped in cum. i hate you.
Thats what happens when you don't swallow.
Anyways, i'm off to play with a rubber dick and a ouija board with two other girls...
If you bring me a slurpee and advil I will eat you out for like an hour.
My math professor just asked us to draw the graph of the derivative of our drunkenness from friday to sunday. Dear Jesus this looks bad.
Is it bad if I just put band-aids over my nipples? Way too hungover be dealing with a bra
Just wanted to say, I appreciate your bravery in having read receipts
You're too young to have this sort of Grizzled Old Drunk In Roadside Bar wisdom.
be right there i have to get my cape
So is the trick to long distance communication to be drunk during phone conversations?
It all started with a game of naked twister.
Apparently I promised everyone at the party I'd partake in various winter sports with them..
They stopped fighting to partake in M&Ms and porn.
Randomize
