I mean a good dj is a huge turn on
between no blow jobs for the rest of his life, or no cheese for the rest of his life, he chose no blowjobs. ive never felt so bad about my bj abilities before
She told me that she faked her orgasm. Does she think I care??
ugh the "ive seen you naked on the internet" look is really getting tiring
i just saw a man pushing two thirtys of beers in a stroller while his little kid ran to keep up. father of the year
The only piece of furniture in the apartment is a wine rack.
I don't know where Tiffany is but I just saw her shoes in the bar lost and found
Oh you have a half-brother? Why that's right up my alley! Let's cause family strife
Tearing families apart since 2011.
We are gunna have the best winter break smoking weed and eating ham
HE'S LICKING FROSTING OFF OF THE EIGHTEEN YEAR OLD BOY
Haha it's harder than you'd think to come up with ways to turn your penis into a Christmas drawing
One of the finest moments in my life was when I was puking in between my legs as I was shitting, and thought to myself "hmm this shall be called shomiting."
I don’t know whether to call out sick or call in drunk
Let me just get through this whole court subpoena thing and then ill go back to buying alcohol for minors.
At least get laid and waffle fries out of it you whipped basterd
Randomize
