Just got booted from water taxi for showing my balls to a security guard.
Wow, this guy is harder to get rid of than gum in pubic hair
It was so romantic--he turned me around to face the sunset during doggy-style over the couch back.
jacking off on stolen wireless... gotta enjoy the small things in life
I just randomly started counting the number of guys that I've hooked up with that are now gay. 11.
I try to help out whenever I can. Speaking of rough nights I woke up half naked on Brady's couch with bloody paper towels duct taped to my foot.
I don't know where Tiffany is but I just saw her shoes in the bar lost and found
She grabbed both of our dicks in the pool then said repeatedly, "this is my dream, this is my dream,"
my hip hurts so fuckin bad. and I just found a half eaten burrito in my nightstand drawer.
I have learned that if you don't want to hook up with the guy who walked you home, food is great compensation.
We had sex on the playground and then walked around his neighborhood grading houses based on their Christmas decorations
I lost the right to judge tonight
What kind of sociopath goes to sleep at 9pm when I clearly need attention
He's getting so into these sexts, I hate to tell him I'm fully clothes, watching Bring It On and eating chips and salsa.
I think I'm taking after my dog, I just want to hump everything
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