i voted for prop eight dipshit. more weddings = more CAKE.
Hopefully the semester will be over before she has a breakout. Then I can just avoid the situation entirely
i'm crying at olive garden. i've hit rock bottom
Do you know how hard it is to masturbate with a runny nose?
Watching a deaf couple have an argument in the mall. Can't bring myself to look away.
grilled cheese. we just shotgunned grilled cheese.
so apparently I plead the 5th to every question they asked me when they put me under the conscious sedation to set my broken wrist
After we smoked, the cops questioned us but i just asked if he wanted to join our basketball team.
Is shaving my mustache contingent on you sleeping over tonight?
It felt like a sumo wrestler slapped me. With a wet hand. 8 times in a row.
His dad gives me dirty looks whenever I come over though. I think it's because I eat his food and have sex with his son.
You yelled This cop is arresting me for possession! Possession of MARIJUANA!!", everyone cheered, and you let him handcuff you and take you away.
ive started thanking my toys after masturbating. might be time to get some fuck boys
THERE IS A MOTHERFUCKING HUMMINGBIRD FLYING AROUND IN OUR HOUSE RIGHT NOW HOW DO I GET IT OUT????
Also, asking the guy who just told you he is crippled on edibles to watch your kid is probably frowned upon by most
Randomize
