Please don't call me names while I'm carrying your child.
it really sends the message that i like to impregnate mortal women and have them birth fantastic half man-half god infants.
Jason Williams (yeah the ex-nets center...) drunkenly told me that, while drinking, I should take an ambien and a cialis before i go home...that will "give me a 25 minute window to have sex and then goto sleep before the bitch starts bothering me"....
once my pubes got caught on her snaggletooth it was all downhill from there
dude, it should not be this hard to find a bottomless mimosa on a friday morning
He gets a blow job; I get my oil changed free of charge. And that way I only see him every 2500 miles.
I cried singing "call me maybe" on the way home from the bar. What the fuck
Some daaay... Bet your bottom dollar that some daaay you'll do that mollyyyy
Felt like shit, jerked off, felt ten times better. Being a guy rules. It's like I got all the demons out in 5 minutes.
As he was cumming he yelled "Yahtzee" then said im free to go. Thats my one night stand
Sexual favors are the only currency recognized by the Republic of Greg
I may be a feminist, but I am not above using my body to distract you if it means I might beat you in a game of scrabble.
the D I S R E S P E C T of sending someone nudes, them opening it, and not bothering to respond
I woke up with what has to be a whole pack of smarties loose in my bra. Was that your fault?
How drunk were you? in an effort to seduce him, you demonstrated your lap dance skillz on his dog.
Randomize
