U Should have said " it's ok baby most girls Sh*t when I do that.
He kissed a someone with a penis
I got so many pubes stuck in her braces that when she yanked her head, I cried out like that one girl you "accidentally" rear-ended last week. Bald spots are battle scars.
I just wanted to yell " i am not a shake weight!!"
Tonights theme there is the 7 deadly sins. Greed, envy, sloth, gluttony, sluttiness, fellatio and vodka.
drunk taco night MLK would want it this way.
Accidently said "your going to hurt the baby" when he got forceful with his thrusts. I guess I forgot to mention to him that we are pregnant.
I don't know what to tell you, usually I would just ask if they'd like to meet the captain. If you can't get laid it's your problem.
I don't care if I just threw up. You kiss me now. This is marriage.
Drunk cheerio confetti may seem like a brilliant idea when your drunk, but believe me, the next day, its a horrible, horrible mess.
she said she walked into the kitchen and i was sitting ass naked on the floor chugging her parents vodka.
The most humiliating part was that I farted while he was tasing me.
Just saw identical twins riding scooters. Today is not real who the hell rides a scooter anymore
I need to reevaluate. My boss gave me drug money. I overslept on my couch. And I had my student teacher go to McDonald's and get an egg mcmuffin for me.
I haven't even lived here for 24 hours yet, and I've already banged someone. My new hoe life is off to a great start.
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