just so you know, the whole club saw your tits last night. and booed.
Strawberries are so good its weird that food is growable
He passed out on the patio with nothing on but his boxers. So we put our beer caps on him. Yeah he woke up with a polka dot sunburn.
Also, I once came to the conclusion after this one boy, that her pleasure condoms are a college boys version of flowers
Go for the frenulum. Its like eating a popsicle. They go nuts with that shit.
dude thats like the second time shes peed on the couch at a party. we cant invite her anymore
where did this taco bell managers name tag come from ?
How unacceptable would it be to bar hop with a funnel in the square? It's Halloweekend and I plan on going hard. I can claim it goes w/ my costume. But I don't think the MIMITW uses funnels.
It's like getting ready for my vaginas own execution
You remember the guy they called Meat in high school? Well, let's just say my vagina remembers him now.
pray to the hookup gods
I've had my dick out in public way too much for someone my age...
Your grandma found me sleeping in my car this morning, and she wanted me to tell you she was going to church... Also, last night was amazing.
He woke me up at 6:30 to have sex again and afterwards, he didn't even judge me when I asked him if he wanted some rum. I think I found my soulmate.
He showed up to my apt at 6am wearing a suit and holding a bag of coke....how could I not let him in?
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