we have pet lesbian snakes
I wish there was a morning after pill that made you instantly sober
If lil wayne asked you to lick him like a lollipop I feel that you would willingly oblige.
Unfortunately I think I would lick most anyone's lollipop.
It's your form of community service; servicing the greater SDSU area.
Never eat 3 McGriddles and drink a carton of milk. It's like you're successfully killing self but you're alive.
mondays should just be called national damage control day
we got plastered, then made lists of anything thats ever been in our vaginas
I know. Brad is upset because he was lower on the list than "that carrot stick"
i know this sounds kinda weird but his cock smelled like fabric softener. it was so refreshing.
I found your Halloween costume. I think you shit yourself last night
Its raining shots and i keep catching them in my mouth like you with dicks shits crazy
You strapped the bucket of KFC into the carseat and refused to let me drive over 20 miles per hour the whole ride home. That high.
NO SHITSVILLE I just saw a homeless dude punch a pigeon that flew by him
Yeah, the email that I was sending to get an Escort for the weekend, copied and pasted to my boss, that should be interesting conversation, when I come back from Christmas vacation break.
The cop that got shot in the dick is here, let the entertainment begin.
I'm getting a car wash man. I am go get a car wash high.
If I ever drink whiskey again make sure I don't eat the plastic cups that I'm drinking them from.
Randomize
