yo my bday is less then one week away. hope youve found another annoying candian i can lick dairy products off of. also sorry about your loss
ugly people sure do ruin things
I wanna fuck padma even more now that she's preggers. Is that sick?
Yes but- 100% agreed
I negotiated the purchase of an entire tray of like 50 jello shots for $8.
do you guys have 30-35 shot glasses? because if not, i don't even see a point in me coming
I just asked her to come in through the window, this pretty much solidifies the whole fuck-buddy thing...
So how was the sex with me last night?
No worse than usual.
I just got fingered in the Win-Co parking lot for pills. How's your meltdown going?
Yeah, I mean I'll probably fuck him regardless but I'm trying to be a lady about it.
I just licked a piece of cheese off my phone screen if that makes you feel any better
I just tried to pass the bowl to my dog for 2 minutes before I remembered she isn't human. It is 7:27 am.
You were wearing a sequin mini, with Tevas. And you still got laid.
Completely unrelated and mildly related, a guy I hooked up with last year in a threeway died, his obit photo was his Grindr photo
So you completely disappeared from my memory last night at about my 15th Jager bomb. But only you. No one else.
he called her and asked for me. he wants to do dinner and a movie
her booty call wants to take you to dinner?
Randomize
