I wish i was in the wii world.
He went soft
Yeah, he was IN. MY. MOUTH.
Just interrupted a freshman tour to ask where the sexual health center is. Figured I'd just give us all what we were really looking for.
You're going to have to tell him your name isn't Ivor McTruckson eventually.
15 Things That Could NEVER Happen Anywhere But the South
Sorry I didn't text you for coffee this morning...bad life decision Saturday sorta rolled into Monday...
1.) where are you? 2.) you making meatballs? 3.) Meatballs for sex?
So not only did you shoot down my invitation and prob walked past my house but now ur excluding me from a wet t shirt contest which btw i totally would have won
at wine tasting. Can i cleanse my Palate with a frito?
Seriously though, you almost tore my right nipple off.
15 Times “Flight of the Conchords” Made You Feel Better About Being a Twenty-Something
I just want you to know that I'm, like, 45% hard right now.
My period started right as he was entering, which really helped me sell the "I've never done this before" bit.
Nothing is working I'm going to die alone and on hold with a State Farm representative
Come on kid, foreplay is elementary stuff. It's a vagina, not a sphinx.
when I was walking home I wad so excited to see a cat on the sidewalk but it was really a traffic cone
I just used a gift card from my in-laws to buy their daughter a vibrator. What even are morals?