I dont ever wanna see you tell my little brother to "spread the seed" ever again
he got up in front of the whole lecture hall and yelled that Charlie Brown's Christmas tree was his favorite book in the history of the universe. then he stumbled out the fire exit setting the alarm off. I could've jumped him right then and there.
10 dollar pizza all the toppings you want. Wait Until You See This Pizza
So one buddy got tackled at the urinals by national guard members and was arrested. Another had sex in a port o potty with possibly the drunkest girl I've ever encountered. The rest of us blacked out and won a few bets. So yes, the derby did meet our expectations.
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forgot a fork. i am eating fettucini alfredo with a comb that i rinsed off the the bathroom sink. eating alone in my car. life doesn't get any sadder than this
she let a homeless guy feel her up so she could go for a ride in his shopping cart
It's not slutty if it's for workout purposes...right?
You are right. The scrape marks on her ass are from her breaking the doggy door by crawling through it.
Speaking of ejaculate, did you get the side of your car cleaned off?
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My adult sexuality and some of the best memories of my childhood collided like a Pee Wee Herman wet dream.
I just find it funny that nobody ever threatens to call the cops on us until we have a Harry Potter party
I wanted to make out with that blonde just so I could deck her boyfriend and make things interesting.
At least that would be something.
Nothing kills the mood like him going to slap my ass and he hits his balls at the same time
I'm gonna have to kick a girl scouts ass...
I've had to take two showers today and it's not even 1 o'clock. Why won't this weekend wash off?