I feel like I'm in dance class right now
When I woke up his cat was sleeping on my face and i had scratch marks on my neck. not happy.
only room for one pussy in that bed.
why dont you just whore around college until someone loves you...thats how it works for girls isnt it?
i wish i could google "things to eat in my fridge" so i wouldnt have to go downstairs and be disappointed
New York to be Host to America’s Biggest Singles Event
Woke up with a treasure map of my room stuck with sticky tape to my ceiling. followed it and found $75 with a note saying; "eat this if we're invaded"... I'm never getting stoned again
who knew that if you vomit while skydiving the puke goes up towards the people that are behind you.
apparently it was the return of drunk burrito sex.
And nobody saved him?? That chick had like three teeth TOPS
Not many best friends can say they've all made out with a homeless guy
Kylie Jenner Wasn’t in the Kardashian X-Mas Cards & the Internet is Losing it
Her mom is home on her lunch break. Guess who's hiding In the Closet?
You're like my zumba instructor for alcoholism right now
I don't think I can recall what a 23 year old cock felt like if one slapped me in the face.
I asked my boyfriend if he wanted a bong for his birthday but he instead asked for corndogs
the cheaper the better
It took 5 bourbons for him to handcuff and spank me and then he cried after sex. The men that like me are so unstable.
just saw two eagle scouts making out in chic-fil-a