Everytime we come here you have an ex here.
You say "arrested with two drunk girls" like it's a bad thing....
Canada is now making docos about life in America. Its called Trailer Park Boys.
She said she had a thing for dinosaurs. Come get me now
19 Cringe-worthy Bachelorette Party Texts
Based on how hungover I feel today, it makes more sense that the bouncer didn't let me in to that bar.
She bit a glass in half.
After he called me a "spirited little girl" I realized that I need to stop sleeping with guys more than ten years older than me.
Unlimited sex for unlimited netflix. I can deal with that. I think this is the first prostitution deal for netflix ever.
He has an intense fear that my cat will attack his balls while we're fucking
The 23 Worst Things That Have Happened After a One Night Stand
If a man doesnt have the ability to fuck you well on a small climbing wall, I don't think he deserves you.
I just remember being in the bathroom alone cussing out the bunny
I need a hug and tequila
I'm sitting next to a milk crate full of tequila right now
This is why we need to live in the same city again
I wasn't going to just ask my parents for a damn vibrator for christmas
It's really hard to masturbate now that I live with girls who actually function before 11 am.
I mean, she's batshit insane and once choked a guy with one hand but she's still MILF material in my book.