Well i threw up in my mouth a few times. But i successfully swallowed it. Still going strong.
Why can't I find a man that likes bush instead of a vagina that looks like it belongs to a prepubescent child!
Because men are children
Touche
he pointed at my clit and asked with a confused face, 'whats this thingy??"
Dude, a dry wedding reception should nullify the vows, because really, without the booze, you might as well be 5 years old again and playing dress-up
her body is proportioned like a family guy character
I'll just tell her I'm here with you picking out a buttplug for her to say "I'm sorry".
You misunderstood me....i wasnt asking and it is not negotiable
You're making this sound more like a hostage situation than a booty call.
On that note if you see a hobo smiling with a pack of cigarettes and an AMP energy drink, that was my good deed for the day
While all the other girls were trying to out skut the next, Cameron was just doing cartwheels around the bar. I think she's the only one who got laid.
Holy. Crap. I just found a hickey on my bikini line. He never got my pants off. WHO IS THIS MYSTICAL HOOKUP WIZARD?
I took Xanax and it did nothing to me. First sign I'm crazy and actually need it.
I don't want a mention or even a whisper of a Shakespeare Festival by that or any other name including, but not limited to, a fucking Renaissance Fair. Are we clear? It will be a DEALBREAKER .
Weird thing is that's not the first time I've been felt up by a Santa. Happens every year
there must be tiny pirates in the freezer stealing our rum.
I'm a delicate orchid of a man.
Blossoming into a fierce dragon.
Randomize
