quick I need to know all the foods that the very hungry caterpillar ate
I dont think that drinking by ourselves on a saturday night counts as being "fun alcoholics"
you do realize that we pretended we were worms for like 10 minutes and inched around on the ground, don't you?
wine lets you be on time to class apparently
This is a dangerous realization
I ended up naked with smirnoff caps on my nipples. Dignity is now a completely foreign concept to me.
The girls danced. I drank. Then I danced cause I was drunk. Then I ripped tim's shirt off cause I'm awesome.
Whenever I'm not in the mood and don't want to go to bed swampy, I just strategically suck him off during the second period intermission of the Cup playoffs and he leaves me alone and does the dishes. It's a win-win.
Hey, I'm off work. Wanna take a metric fuckton of adderall, possibly get daydrunk, and get my hair cut?
I'm watching the Brazzers version of Mary Poppins and enjoying it. Volume on and all. 45 minutes.
I know this is super early in advance but can I borrow your horse mask on 4/20
Is it possible to be sexually attracted to someone's hair?
On a brighter more disgusting note...... I think I just shart myself but I'm too afraid to find out.
My boss and I ended up at the same strip club. We both got lap dances while talking about work.
Oh, the accent alone guaranteed a bj. It was when he started drunkenly singing in PERFECT PITCH that I knew I was fucking him.
I was trying to type "I just want you naked" and it put "I just want you baked"
Randomize
