Balls are like the throw pillows of the penis
Some bum walked up and watched me getting head last night for like 5 mins before I noticed him
I mean we're not committed. He's my first choice, sort of like miller lite. When I'm at the bar I'm going to order one, but if they don't maybe I'll go for a bud or blue moon. I'm certainly not going to stop drinking
guess what. just found out I had mono. no wonder alcohol didn't taste good on nye
I had never watched a guy jack off to me before, but let me tell you, it was a very uncomfortable experience.
She started doing push ups and calling me a pussy. Never set me up with your ROTC friends again.
This inappropriate post strip club text brought to you by Cheetah of Palm Beach and vodka. Blowjob in the champagne room and the clap for the low low price of your paycheck.
His wife made me pancakes and let me borrow a clean shirt. Should I drop his class or use this to my advantage
My head feels like a nest made of hair and cum
when I went into his room, he was sleeping on his stomach, almost as if to silently say, "you're not touching my dick tonight".
Seeing Grandma lick chocolate sauce off of the male stripper was definitely not the way I planned to enter the world of legal drinking.
I got to her place and she was petting her cat and pounding vodka out of the bottle. She looked like Dr evil in yoga pants. She's nuttier than squirrell shit.
I appreciate the fact that you sent me a snapchat of your dick soaking in a cup of water.
So I FINALLY get to start out a story, "So there I was, naked except for a toboggan hat and handcuffs..."
They want a bedroom just for their cats. And you thought we were gay.
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