Charged a drink to your name last night. Thanks for the whiskey
I'm so bummed I missed coconut bowling. It's fucking cold here and no coconuts to be found
don't you miss dr. quinn: medicine woman? i do.
I tried to tell him it was only 2:00, but he said since it was 5:00 in New York, it was perfectly acceptable. He then put on a Blues Brothers hat and a pair of wayfarers and left. I expect him home in a few hours with a police escort.
You should swallow it and be like the ticking crocodile. Only you play Still of the Night.
i wish i could just chop off my fat with a knife..i would rather endure that than work out
SO stoned. Sitting in just a thong in front of a fan. NO work for a WEEK! Life is good :)
So one buddy got tackled at the urinals by national guard members and was arrested. Another had sex in a port o potty with possibly the drunkest girl I've ever encountered. The rest of us blacked out and won a few bets. So yes, the derby did meet our expectations.
I cant believe Lindsay Lohan feels like this every day
I have to think about this realistically and not with my vagina.
Just got a blowjob from a coed in exchange for saving her an iPhone 5 when I get them in stock. Sometimes it's awesome to be a Verizon employee.
I really need to curb my attractions to blondes with tattoo sleeves, firearms and alcoholism
Is it sacrilegious to take tequila shots on Saint Patrick's day?
My fuck buddy and I talked about Amelia Bedilia for ten minutes before having sex. I think I'm in love.
I just found a nug casually in my room under my duffel bag. Is this a sign I need help?
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