Are you trying to threaten my boobs?
no one will drink with you if you continue to listen to beyonce
I'm starting to think The only feelings I have anymore are drunk and hung over
you can't hurt those
so all the bums hang out by my new store, they have a leader we call king bum... He got dethroned by police today for choking out a hooker. The bum heirarchy is in shambles right now.
i've met an abundance of virgins and guys who where flip flops, i thinks there's a correlation
He skyped me to learn how to roll a joint and for us to masturbate together. And you said a long distance relationship wouldn't work.
So it looks like you may be an uncle real soon. Don't ask how I feel about it and don't text me back.
I'm sexting at the thanksgiving dinner table...this is a new holiday tradition.
I don't know whether to call the hospital or call the prison first.
I just rolled an Obama blunt and a Romney shame joint for tonight. Vote wisely.
You asked me to text you at 11 and remind you that he's 33. It's 11:20. He's 33.
you're too late. he has eggnog and whiskey and all seven seasons of buffy. I shan't be coming home tonight
I vaguely remember seeing that couple making out in front of that store and i yelled "I ALSO LOVE THE ROCKY MOUNTAIN SOAP COMPANY!"
I just ordered cookies for delivery. My life is falling apart.
It's amazing what a couple of orgasms can do for a girls demeanor.
All i remember is looking at the bottle vodka that I was drinking and wondering how it was suddenly empty.
That may have had to do with you chugging it
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