She said I could do whatever I wanted to her. I pumped for 20 seconds, apologized, rolled over and passed out. I sit directly across from her at work. Awkward?
Omg just want to confirm: got drunk, naked in street, fucked in bathroom and puked on bart.
watching E! true Hollywood story: curse of the lottery.. i'd probably spend all my money on blow and airplanes too..
who's fault is it that she tells me today she is only 16 because i definately met her at the bar...
i just licked my manager on accident and i'm freaking out
i chipped my tooth tryin to cut thru her pantyhose. that stuff is bulletproof.
don't blame me for your drunken lack of judgement
big words... still drunk. dont care. your fault.
i remember too much of last night for it to have been successful
My only regret is that I have but one penis to give to your vagina.
is it bad that my walk of shame involves the church shuttle?
Sorry, I was trapped in a small closet behind a washer. What's up?
I just hit on a guy in a doughnut store... is that too suggestive?
I had a glass of wine for breakfast. It's gonna be a rough week.
Is it weird to smoke a bong with a client from work?
i almost got into an argument defending my life choices with a guinea pig eating chocolate cake at 4am
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