once my pubes got caught on her snaggletooth it was all downhill from there
I am so getting Plan B when we get home. Not getting knocked up by a dude with a hair piece.
No mine's bigger. It just looks smaller because I'm drunk
Is it creepy to message a girl and say you had me at stocked liquor cabinet?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
his mom and I have the same butterfly tramp stamp. don't ask how that came up
He is passed out on the kitchen floor. He will fight you if you disturb him. Just a warning.
4 random people called me telling me they found him sleeping in the fetal postion on a driveway 45 minutes after we lost him
Drunk me thinks I can light up a cig anywhere, sober me finds this hilarious and highly irresponsible. The grocery store is not a bar.
I kept trying to give you water and you kept spitting it back at me. You looked like a camel. People were staring
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Worst part of blacking out... Waking up and having to do the teeth check
We have so much sex to catch up on
We can't shop at Hobby Lobby anymore. They don't like Plan B which basically runs through our veins.
he kept insisting he didn't have my number, so i called his phone and my number came up as "yeaaaaaaaaah!"
HAPPY BIRTHDAY I ATE TOO MUCH OF AN EDIBLE AND TOLD MY BARISTA I LOVED HER
Two of my dealers just made friends at this party. Do you think one will be pissed if I buy from the other or should I just go 50/50?
Randomize