I woke up with semen in my invisalign. My molars were just marinating in it
i just found an uncooked ramen noodle in my underwear
I just watched a girl use a tall boy Coors as a rolling pin to make christmas cookies
As it turns out, drunk trust falling that guy at the top of the waterslide didn't really work out for anyone..
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Tonights theme there is the 7 deadly sins. Greed, envy, sloth, gluttony, sluttiness, fellatio and vodka.
You're not invited to the wedding. They don't want you starting a "who's fucked the bride the most" contest.
All you have to drink is moonshine and ranch. This is bullshit.
He looks like a fat version of lurch from the adams family and smells like fritos. This is not the caliber man I want pleasuring himself to the thought of me!
Hot Damn Cinnamon Schnapps make me feel like the sun is punching me in the face and a bear is sleeping inside me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just had my very first high conversation with mom
And you survived it! I'd say that earns you a "Blaze It Like a Real Adult" from the Grown-up Girl Scouts
Stealing, and booze. If only you added meaningless sex with random people you would have wrapped all your life passions together
Currently googling hangover cures, which looks a lot like working from the perspective of my boss.
He said I have the “Denzel Washington” of vaginas.
for future reference, singing eye of the tiger outside my door while i am having sex makes me incredibly uncomfortable
apparently not uncomfortable enough for you to stop
I almost suffocated in that mask but she kept calling me Jeremy so I kept it on.
Randomize