I'm in a room alone pouting because I got the wrong nachos at taco bell.
So it's 10:55am and I just woke up on the floor in the hallway on the4th floor. There should probably be no moredrinking competetions.
Remember that time i walked in on your friend taking a huge shit?
Remember that time you hooked up with him?
Gross thing of the day...i got cum in my new boots
He came and then made the Jim Halpert face. does that say disappointment or what
that's why you don't digest questionable powders from girls wearing tutus at a dirty club
I think I actually have rug burn on my eye.
The lady next to me at the airport just baggage checked a six pack. She is now my hero.
I really want to fuck that guy in the full wind breaker suit
I got hammered with my chem professor at 4:30. I'm pretty sure that can't be topped by any real sort of institution.
Dude you filled up a protein shake mixer with White Russians so you didn't have to keep coming upstairs.
Is it weird that I want to have sex wearing my glasses and lab coat while having an actual scientific discussion?
Is it weird to wish your favorite hooker "happy thanksgiving"?
He seduced me by making me nachos. It worked.
Okay, but that still doesn't explain all the glitter in my puke.
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