So do you want to come over? ;)
Never again opening up the Pandora's box of crazy that is your vagina. Sorry.
I miss your penis. And I totally say this as a friend. I just miss it because it's great. You should be very proud of it.
Will you be topless? That will affect my answer.
It's an open bar on a yacht... I'm going to drown.
A worker across the alley is wearing your sombrero sans cat barf.
Are you also wondering how we get home after the party bus?
Home?
Noooo. We thought it would be funny for him to wake up buried in the sand. But we just remembered about the whole high tide thing and it's dark and it's pretty damn hard to find an unconscious head sticking out of the sand. Just help us out
Know of anyone who would be interested in trading weed for meatballs?
K, so let's go ahead and say that mcnugget and margarita Tuesday was a bad idea
My aunt comes over, haven't seen her in 4 years. First thing, looks me up and down and goes "...yup, that pair ripened nicely. Theyll get you some free drinks"
I think you were raised by the wrong sister
I was just the victim of a drive by judging in a horse and buggy.
The fuck? Where?
St. Mary's. Amish people. Too high for this.
You keep talking about hotdogs and yelling "COME ON DOWN, LET ME SEE WHAT YOU'RE WEARING"
I went down on her on the dining room table. That should count for something.
I can't tell if you're talking about my pussy or Cape Cod.
I got so drunk I thought my tennis court was a corn field so I laid in it and ate pizza
Randomize
