You can't wash away shame.
I can try.
i can't believe he got me to come over to him by waving a natty light at me.
Passed out on her toilet. Dog licked my face to wake me. Awkward talk with her boyfriend, who hadn't been home last night. Not sure exactly what town I'm in, but I'm south. Will call for ride when I figure it out.
His blow is so strong I threw up. Buy it. I'm in nursing school I know what I'm talking about.
He got violent drunk so we have to untie him in the morning. He's in your basement and you're out of electrical tape. Don't forget because I will.
OH DEAR GOD. He looks like if u licked him he'd taste like bourbon, sex and sunshine.
It feels like you stuck your dick in a fire and then branded the inside of me.
And then he serenaded me with "Pimps don't cry" from 'The Other Guys'. If that's not love I'm not sure what is
Can I tell you that I just incorporated the spice girls in my sexting and you not judge me
All I've consumed in the last 24 hours is cranberry vodka and kosher for passover biscotti
That's what happens when you party with the tribe
Yo I get this girl alone in my room last night but she bounces cus she thought the full house poster was "weird"
I WOULD NEVER MIX DICK AND MCDONALDS
Whatever you have to do, STALL THEM. Your toothbrush is in the kitchen, my pants are on the balcony, and I don't have eyebrows.
I want to fling myself into the sun
Also, we can't be seen together looking suspicious or sexually satisfied
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