he just said he'd buy the porn
its a step up from the last guy
i'm going through the NYU 2014 group looking for future drunken hookups. too slutty?
three guys just busted into my bio lecture, yelled "happy st. patrick's day!", downed jagerbombs, and left.
I can't believe he would be such an ass
Your boobs are way too big for you to be worrying about anything.
She saved the condom from the first time we did it.
Her divorce is going to cut into the amount of time we spend fucking.
I'm in awe of how selfish that is.
And then I interrupted the father of the groom, to ask if she was "ballet or pole" in the middle of his story about his niece, the dancer.
Malt liquor mondays...better in theory.
Here's the thing, you got road head in two different cars tonight. You feel lucky yet?
I am the girl who goes to bed with her make-up on so that she doesn't have to fully redo it in the morning. I am obviously not ready to be a mother.
How does that even work?
Worst case: you're extra horny, have no control of your mouth or actions, and maybe murder someone. Child's play.
Just almost drowned myself in the shower again. I need an adult.
Pretty sure the delivery guy saw me taking a shit this morning
I just found a samari sword in the couch. I'm about to take like 5 shots and pretend to be captain jack sparrow
Have you ever been anal in a bush on the Vegas strip drunk?
Randomize
