im gay
i know
yea but for you.
Me too. I'd like to spend all next summer high and drunk and riding ponies and boys.
Found out in my property law class that you can sell your eggs for $8000. Helloooo spring break.
This is absurd. I need a man. Or even a moderately-clean hobo will do at this point.
i dont care. it has been a 14 hour day, and we are all celebrating by alternating shots and grilled cheese.
Thanks for buying me a sippy cup, its so pretty and everyone keeps telling me its probably the best gift anyone could have given me
he drunk texted me to give me his number with the message "i gotchu pretty eyeso" i can't tell if he's complimenting me or himself.
I remember trying to cut the power to a house I thought was "too bright to understand the meaning of christmas". Pretty sure I blacked out down the street.
other than the jail part I had a really good time with you
Guess what I'm doing tonight? Tacos and strip chess.
When we were having sex last night, I told him I would replace him with tacos
These past few weeks have been a lesson on why you don't put your penis inside girls who live in your building.
Also, I had mind-blowing sex on a pool table
We have been dating for 5 months. I'm friends with his sister. Yet my number in his phone is still saved as "hot bartender"
It’s a 10 inch dick! Of course I’m getting a Brazilian
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