Pretty sure I only gave out my other # though. You know, 777 777-7777
Hahaha. So was it a Freudian slip, or wishful thinking? ;)
Could be either seeing as you're in my phone as "3rd bar" and I couldn't pick you outta a line up.
My 8 year old wants to name our new cat "fur burger". how do i explain that this is not really appropriate?
if this hangover is indicative of how 2011 is gonna be, i want nothing to do with it
Almost just got kicked out of a bar because the locals spilled beer everywhere when we taught them to shotgun.
I'm a lady, I can't pee on the ceiling. Even I don't have that power.
The floor and the wall just switched. I'm falling.
He Facebook stalked his way right into my pants.
THEY HAVE VIAGRA FLAVORED GELATO
It started as ''I want a romantic life right now'' text. It ended with pool table sex.
you walked around drinking beer out of a plunger and telling people it was a goblet...
There it is. Caramel-coated dick. Someone is getting a yeast infection later.
YOU CAN'T GET A TATTOO BECAUSE OF KPOP FANFICTION. THAT'S NOT HOW LIFE WORKS
I know that you sometimes make decisions based on comedic effect, but losing your virginity shouldn't be one of them.
THAT HOSPITAL MADE ME REALIZE THAT I'M BISEXUAL
As a paramedic, it's completely unacceptable to black out on a monday. I cant handle 3 dollar shot night.
Randomize
