Emee failed...She used my genitals as a tampon
I think I just saw the silver monkey from legends of the hidden temple sitting out in someone's trash
GO. BACK. NOW.
you went up to their shower, tripped in it, accidentally turned it on and then claimed that you like to "test everyone's showers"
When I found her she was drinking wine out of a plastic bag in a bathroom stall, staring at herself in the mirror and crying hysterically. Cabo does things to a person...
I waxed the left side of it and was in too much pain to do the right side so my crotch looks like cruella devil
Discovered a freckle on my clitoris. What have you done today?
BECKY! ITS ANDY FROM LAST NIGHT WITH THE PILL
Andy, Sorry you have the wrong number. But good luck with Becky!
So feel off my bed lastnight into the trashcan. On the plus side i thought under my bed was a cave and i went exsploring
I sat on my couch last night watching What Women Want, eating ice cream, and sobbing "why doesn't she like me?" Why was I born a man?
Yeah, nothing like barfing into a grocery bag you just put dog shit into.
So please don't worry, but I need some help getting blood out of my drywall so I can get my security deposit back. I would not ask if the need was not great.
You seemed underwhelmed by my smooth, smooth ass
He yelled "Go Ducks" while he came
If you send me one more .gif of that fumble, I will make the 10 hour drive just to set you on fire.
I am attempting to break the habit of calling him daddy.
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