Whats contracted in vegas does not stay in vegas....
Let's play a little game called "Chill the Fuck Out" - you're our first contestant
Im in the beachers at wrigley listening to four lesbians debate the pros and cons of 2girls1cup. Success.
we had sex three times last night.. but now im just wet from him crying on my stomach about how much he misses his ex.. awesome
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There is a mermaid on oprah and she looks nothin like ariel
my grandma just put on bowling shoes, to play wii bowling.
I'm in my winter jacket and nothing else. very drunk. bring bitches.
did i get hit in the head with a hammer? someone just asked me...
So on a scale of 1 to Friendship-Over, how mad would you be if a rando I brought home sharted on the shag carpet in the living room?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Favorite thing said to me in 2012: It's like you have two tongues!
Were you keeping a list?
I am not working on the very first day I can throw up alcohol that I legally bought and drank.
No, just kidding. But your faith in me to throw a lesbian bridal shower makes me think I an pull it off. To the LGBT bar!
You were sitting in a chair and you said "I just feel like a little fishy, floooooating through the ocean, so pretty"
That moment when you sit down to shit and someone is watching porn on the other side of the wall.
i think it’s okay to see him. you just can’t wind up with his penis in your mouth again
Randomize