a stripper queefed in my friends mouth last night and it reminded me of you. miss you
And the cops told us we were all naked.
I would like to apologize for asking to take advantage of you, wishing you a horny Hanukkah and whatever "abd ethw prnym to mzbe yur penis cna be friends" means.
everyone at work keeps looking at me like they know I got the herp this weekend
Oh damn. God have mercy on everything w a dick in a ten mile radius.
That dog was the best thing i ever touched
I sang "A Whole New World" while I took his virginity
That is awesome that you did that.
I built a fence. For the bunnies we're going to adopt. I'll fill you in when you get home.
My dad just told me I can't passout in the driveway after the 4th of July parade this year, again
And thanks to you I'm pretty sure I'm banned from every qdoba in south carolina. And cab company
Woke up with two different pairs of pants in the pockets of a jacket.None of the above are mine.
God is tempting me with everything tonight. Brownies and dick, mostly.
It was a good dick. I give credit where credit is due. A good dick deserves praise.
You know why I love being a regular at this bar? It's because at a certain point last call is only a suggestion.
I was so high I forgot how to swallow food, and I just kept thinking "thank god its just mashed potatoes, they'll go down eventually"
Randomize