I just woke up in bed next to my teacher. Does that mean I'm passing now?
Remember that sex scene from American Psycho?
Ya, why?
We should try that some time.
sooo i think when i get back from rothbury i should probably take a pregnancy test
but you would be showing by now. i'd just save the money and wait for a large crap in 6 months that starts crying. then you'll know.
Whenever I said your name you screamed polo and did another shot.
It's not fair. Guys with dicks that huge should not be allowed to be catholic.
i no longer feel bad for not doin my schoolwork. im watching a porn in french. this MUST qualify as studying.
It was as if you forgot how to speak normally. All of your words came out either backwards or in song form
The last thing I remembered was laying in the bathtub fully clothed with the shower running while he was picking grilled cheese out of my hair. I couldn't figure out if i was more upset about being soaking wet or the fact that my grilled cheese was in my hair instead of my mouth.
When I come over I'm bringing "Socky" the Alcoholism Prevention puppet, today he is going to tell you boys about his FAVORITE word---its called "moderation"
the only way I will be happy is if my gallon spiderman bucket is full of either popcorn, nutella and peanut butter, or fried rice. CHOOSE WISELY.
get ready to load up the weird cannon and blow a load of buck-wildness all over the place people
Definitely just realized I wore a shirt that says "building leaders for Christ" to a hookup. Roll tide.
I work 80 hours a week to prevent myself from just laying in bed and masturbating all day. It's a hands off strategy.
It's 2016 and I'm somehow banging the milkman.
So some guy thought I took second place in a male stripper competition
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