i need a penis for penetration, you wont do.
oh yeah... my b.
good news, i'm not pregnant. bad news, i had sex with ***** last night and i think i'd rather be pregnant
bathroom sex at kohls isnt as trashy as it seems
ill give you a picture of me naked for $5. im desperate.
I am sweating out the vodka to make room for the whiskey tonight.
did you know that if you have sex in the elevator on the way up that people can still get in?
Yea it's a sex scar. But if anyone asks I tripped up carpeted stairs
Sometimes you just need a break, and sometimes you also need to get stoned on these breaks. I sound like some kind of fucked up mr rogers when I say shit like that.
It's a sign that no dudes december is about to start: I have a yeast infection.
That awesome feeling when you are pooping on the same toilet that nobel laureates have pooped on
No one likes a giant penis on their phone screen. I mean cmon. I'm a lady.
I threw up in the kitchen on the floor and a guy tried cleaning it up with a spoon at a party.
HIS DICK IS SO AWESOME DUDE. 15/10 SURPRISE
the girl next to me was drawing sonic the hedgehog on her exam what the fuck
godspeed
Everybody at Lexi's party found out I'm both a screamer and a moaner after he ate me out on the pool table downstairs. Just another sunday night in Alaska
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