it sounded like he was fisting a can of crisco.
So pretty much, I was trying to piece last night together and remembered a point where I was pointing to you heart then touching your face. I'm not sure that I ever translated that to "I like your personality better than your looks" but that's what I meant
There is a such thing as a wonderpuss octopus. Officially my new favorite animal.
IT'S SUMMA TIME
ITS SUMMA TIME NOT BE HIGH ALL THE TIME TIME
THEY'RE THE SAME THING
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Your message cut off at "shit on the floor". Your life is incredible.
I can't drink with the moms anymore. All they talk about is lactating.
So I'm thinking about sending him some "sorry I almost peed on your computer" cookies. Thoughts?
Yea not today, I ending up taking a shit behind a tree last night.
I love 4am trips to the ER. I feel so responsible for actually making it all the way here.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I ran into the kitchen halfway through hooking up cause I forgot I put the cookies on the oven too high. Came back and she was gone but the only thing I could think about was all the extra cookies I could eat now. Got through about 6 before I realized why she left.
No seriously you guys are gonna get arrested
Do me a favor I want you to reach down the front of your pants and underwear and just feel around for a while... if you happen to find your balls then join us
I can still taste the Jäger. I'm gonna shoot myself.
I think it was a smart move. Quickest way to get over a guy, hook up with his friends.
I mean, it's just pathetic when the standard is tinder and he can't live up to it.
you were just in my dream and you looked at me and said "Christmas is cold." I think you're wasted even in my dreams.
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