U Should have said " it's ok baby most girls Sh*t when I do that.
He can't get past my hymen. At least that's what he said it feels like.
he just booty called me in advance instead of waiting til 3 am when hes trashed. i think thats really considerate and gentlemanlike.
his blackberry tasks were 1. take names and 2. kick ass
pretty sure i saw you masturbating on chatroulette a minute ago. yes, i can recognize your cock
I THOUGHT I SAW YOU
I wish we could tell the moving van to wait at the strip club for a while.
He just "revenge puked" on her kid. I think we'll be leaving soon.
he brought me knee pads...is that sweet or weird?
I traded the garbage men the rest of my handle for a ride home. Best. Walk. Of. Shame. Ever.
Now that mom and dad sold the camper, do you think it's okay to talk about all the sex I had in it?
No worries, I've prioritized my homework into "can do drunk" and "should be sober" categories. We're good.
Damn you. I'm in a bar with Southern Jesus Fearing Blah Blah Rednecks WHO ARE PROBABLY VOTING FOR TRUMP and you go radio silent.
I went to BBQ fest on Wednesday and came home wearing a different shirt, so I think I did some good damage.
I walked in on him fucking her whilst she ate skittles. I saw things no one should see, but I did get your bra back. You owe me.
Wanted to let you know I hooked up with your brother.
i thought he was gay wtf
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