Does he know anything about your personal life besides what you look like without clothes on?
He walked me home last night across campus while i fed him pasta out of a solo cup at 3 am.
And here i was gonna offer you a complimentary blowjob.
She's just so happy...and so naked.
I was short on money so I let my roommate mase me for $60
whenever he tweets that he wants to get blackout it's like a neon sign for "i want to bang you tonight"
At least I'm doing lines with a notecard. That counts for something right
Dude, you were dipping oreos in vodka and asking people to try it, "It's so good!"
I don't see how you can turn down creme brulee and orgasms
If you're mature enough to fuck him you're mature enough to tell him you don't want a relationship come on
Explain the King Dong next to my face.
I woke up hugging a box of cheerios that had "wonder woman" written in sharpie on it. So much for a sober night.
I'm floating on a 30mph cloud right now not giving a fuck
You were lost on foot. Texted us and told us that N*Sync couldn't save you, and then you "met Jesus" in your car.
You peed on a flamingo?!?
Randomize
