maybe i'll see you again later :)
I'd rather shit a knife.
Does the phrase 'traumatizing near-threesome' mean anything to you.
i'm sitting in the second floor bathroom drinking coronas in the shower. do not find me.
I do not want to do anything. The words more tequila need to be erased from my vocabulary
This is your morning news. Today at 5 pm I will be going out of town until the 29th. If you would like some great sex before I leave, please contact me. The available packages are: a house call, an outdoor excursion, or a delivery style in-car quickie. available only while supplies last.
I think you're going to have to drive me to white haven. I don't know if my brain can handle having my mom drop me off at a strip club.
It's like all my brain cells are screaming at me.
I'm dying.
I just finished a four mile round trip walk to CVS to buy shaving cream and lube. You're welcome.
Of course I have a pirate flag
We were kinda loud so his roommate woke up and to make up for it he invited him to a threesome. I can't drink whiskey anymore.
So like if I threw up in my purse is that "don't ever show your face in public again" worthy or just slightly frowned upon
You ripped my pants off and gave me the choice use it or lose it what was I suppose to do.
Ohhh the usual. Laying in bed reflecting on my decisions
I WANNA... wait, will you kinkshame me?
Nah.
I WANNA KNOW WHAT HE SMELLS LIKE
I refuse to shit my pants for anyone except Cher and Christina Aguilera!
Randomize
