I was curling my hair today and I looked at my curling iron and thought...
You at least unplugged it right?
there are too many children here to make this hangover-friendly
oh i have no idea about his personality. i imagine it's the same as it was- except now combined with a receding hairline and a beer gut
We can talk tomorrow when we're both alert. My mind is somewhere else right now.
Where's it at?
In your pants.
Very hungover, bought a newspaper and found my shorts from last night in the machine.
And for some reason I just want to have sex with EVERYTHING
Walk back down Church toward Mass Ave. Take a right and head for the guy in a kilt on top of the really tall unicycle. C u soon!
We put your drunk ass to bed. 10 minutes later we heard you scream "DICK-PUNCH!!!" It was immediately followed by a shriek of pain and crying. So to answer your question; no, that's not "sex soreness".
The whorange rubbed off. His white shirt was so gross at the end of the night I told him to frame it.
I made out with about ten people last night. And four of them were just on the way to my car from the bar. And one was my roommate.
I'm all dressed in my outfit from last night, and I'm not even the sluttiest person in Walmart right now. God bless Miami.
I'm not sure why, but my salad smells like a Big Mac. Or maybe that's just the smell of yesterday's, seeping through my skin.
If I was banging all the guys that people think I am, I'd quit buying batteries.
Just because I also want a blowjob doesn't mean I don't want to just see you too.
Had a dream last night that we survived the apocalypse. And we celebrated Christmas.
What did I get you?
A 12 gauge and a bottle of vodka that was waist high.
Sounds about right
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